Personal Loss

Posted on Tue Sep 29th, 2026 @ 7:51am by Captain Percival "Percy" Tapper & Commander Theya Zh'Líran
Edited on on Wed Sep 30th, 2026 @ 2:15pm

2,506 words; about a 13 minute read

Mission: Outward Trajectory
Location: Deck 6
Timeline: MD 03

Three days out from Alpha Centauri, Percy had decided to start taking the long way through the ship.

There was little reason for it beyond the pleasure of seeing Eventide underway. At Cochrane, she always seemed to partly belong to the shipyard: surrounded by scaffolding, work crews, temporary power feeds and crazy noise of components being assembled. Out here in the black, she was quieter. The new engines seemed to sing, passing on a low vibration that could be felt in the decks, though almost too deep to hear, and every so often the ship made one of those small sounds. A small sound that belonged only to a spacefaring vessel in motion. Two weeks remained before they reached the Luujak Nebula. There was time for the scientists to finish calibrating their equipment and for everyone else to discover what needed fixing now that the ship was actually hitting really space.

Percy liked that there would be time.

He passed a laboratory where a pair of science officers were working behind the glass. One had both hands buried in an open equipment housing while the other watched a display and read seemed to be shouting numbers aloud. Percy slowed enough to watch them for a few seconds. He had no idea what they were doing. That was one of the pleasures of commanding Eventide. He knew the purpose of nearly everything aboard her, but there were whole rooms filled with people who understood things he did not--other areas of science that made no sense to him. The ship had been designed around it.

He continued down the corridor.

At the next junction, an ensign wearing red colours hurried past with a data PADD--on in each hand. A door opened farther along and let out a brief wash of warmer air before closing again. Someone had left a mug on a small table outside one of the laboratories. Percy noticed it because the mug had a silly cartoon bird printed on it, and because the bird reminded him of something he couldn't quite place.

Then he remembered.

His daughter had loved things like that.

The memory did not push its way forward with any particular force. Strangely, it seemed to join him while he walked.

She would have been twelve now.

Percy had to do the arithmetic sometimes. Twelve. He knew the number. He'd known it for months now. Still, it seemed to belong to someone else's life when he tried to imagine her at that age. His memory had preserved her in pieces that didn't fit nicely together anymore: her small voice calling from another room, her soft, small hand reaching for his, and the concentration on her face when she had could no longer contain the frustration around a problem.

She had asked questions about everything. Everything.

He remembered one evening when she had wanted to know why the stars looked different colours. He had explained as best he could--breaking it down into smaller parts for her young brain, and she had listened carefully before asking whether that meant some stars were older than others. He had answered that it could. Then came another question. Then another.

He had never been able to decide whether she was trying to understand the universe or perhaps testing how long her father could keep explaining it.

The thought put a smile on his face.

By the time he reached the next laboratory, he had forgotten what had brought the memory to mind.

He stopped anyway.

Inside, someone was making an adjustment to a sensor array. A series of unfamiliar readings crawled across a display like little multicoloured insects, and the scientist watching them leaned closer. Percy wondered what Evie would have asked if she were standing beside him.

Probably the obvious thing.

What does that do?

He could hear the question so clearly that he felt almost obliged to answer it.

Instead he looked through the glass and tried to imagine her seeing the room for the first time. She would have wanted to know what the instruments measured. Then she would have wanted to know how they worked. Then, eventually, why anyone had decided that this particular thing was worth measuring before all else.

He knew this because she had always gone one question farther than he expected. Without fail. Every time.

Percy moved on.

The ship seemed larger when he thought of her. Every laboratory became a place she might have wandered into. Every unfamiliar instrument became something she would no doubt demand an explanation for. The scientists he passed began to look, for a moment, like people she might have talked to. He could picture her sitting somewhere nearby while one of them tried to explain an particularly difficult idea, nodding solemnly until the inevitable next question came.

But why?

That was when the ache began.

It was quiet enough that he almost mistook it for tiredness.

He walked past a viewport and looked out.

The stars were streaking across against the darkness, cold and remote. There wasn't a particular one he was looking for. He simply stood there with his hands resting loosely behind his back and thought about how much she would have loved this.

That thought remained.

She would never see it.

Percy looked down at the deck.

For years he had imagined taking her places. He had imagined the ordinary things, mostly. Showing her something beautiful. Answering questions he could answer and admitting when he couldn't. Watching her reach an age where she might figure out that most adults were making things up as they went along--even the scientists sometimes.

The plain truth was that Evie wasn't here.

The tear surprised him.

He turned slightly toward the viewport and wiped it away before it could fall. For just a few seconds he kept his hand against his cheek.

Commander Theya Zh’Líran rounded the corner, and Percy had just enough time to straighten himself before she was close enough to notice him.

He wondered whether she had seen.

There was no point worrying about it now.

“Commander,” Percy said.

He managed a small smile.

For the moment, that was all he had to offer.

Theya would never let on that she had seen anything at all. Not unless it served a specific, practical purpose. Secrets were something she was good at sussing out. She was also good at keeping them. Even if she hadn't seen anything, her antennae were picking up signs of acute distress in the Captain, his bioelectical fields sending subtle messages to her receptors. Through conditioned practice she was able to control the typically involuntary movements that her antennae would normally display in response to such distress, instead greeting the Captain placidly,

"Hello, Captain," Theya paused. "I've been learning about the secrets of the ship," she offered. "The Jefferies tubes, access points, alternate routes." She pointed to one of the walls of the corridors as if there were a hidden passageway. "I'm sure you know all of them by now. But perhaps you would like to join me anyway."

Percy had composed himself relatively quickly and offered the Andorian his trademark warm smile.

"I was--well, why not?" he rasped, almost laughing at himself. "Someone who does know every nook and cranny on Eventide is Lieutenant Malax."

He motioned for her to lead the way.

"What has you so interested in exploring the ship?"

"I've been given a very important role on your ship, Captain," Theya replied. "As a trusted member of your command team, the lives of your crew are in my hands every day that we are out here. Should I be in this hallway and we are overrun with a hostile force, a fire, a mutiny - I need to know every option available to me. How to get the crew out safely, where to stage officers for rescue, recovery, surveillance."

"Not every useful bit is so carefully mapped out on a ship's specifications," she said pointedly. "I actually feel safer that it isn't."

"Of course," Percy said, perhaps realizing for the first time that a typical Starfleet officer in Theya's position might not have been so fastidious in the execution of their duties.

They walked in silence for a few moments before Percy spoke again.

"How are you finding Eventide, Commander? You mentioned over dinner that you haven't lived in space in quite some time..."

Theya was about to answer when the comm system chimed.

Percy touched a panel on the bulkhead to signal their reception of the notification.

"Tapper here, go ahead."

[Sir, we're receiving a priority transmission from Andoria. It came through the command channel.]

Theya's expression had changed before Percy could glance at her. It was a small change, but he saw it.

[Captain, the transmission is addressed to Commander Zh’Líran.]

"Understood," he said. "Route it to my quarters."

[Aye, sir.]

They continued down the corridor together. Theya said nothing and Percy didn't ask.

It was only a few steps further down the corridor before they arrived at the Captain's quarters. Percy keyed the door panel and stepped aside, gesturing for Theya to enter first.

"Please, Commander, use my terminal."

"Thank you."

Percy entered the room behind her only long enough to activate the computer terminal and bring up the secure communications interface. Then he moved toward the small seating area and turned his attention to the stars streaking by in space.

He did not listen.

A few minutes later, he heard Theya exhale behind him.

"Captain."

Percy turned.

The sternness in her face had returned. It seemed to him that she wore it almost as naturally as her uniform.

"I have received word from Andoria," she said. "There has been an accident."

Percy waited, sensing something serious had occurred on her homeworld.

"One of our orbital platforms containing a large civilian habitat has exploded," she explained to him, her voice softer, lacking the usual crispness in the timbre of her voice. Though Percy hadn't known her long enough to gauge what was usual.

His eyes suddenly became soft and sympathetic, seeing the Andorian allow a bit of softness to come to the surface.

She continued. "My in-laws live there..." she stopped, catching herself. "Lived there."

If he had known Theya for more than a couple of weeks, he might have squeezed her shoulder but there were protocols to follow and he was barely an acquaintance.

"Crewman Shoshua's parents..." Percy knew they were one of the few couples serving aboard Eventide and one of a dozen he had made a point to meet during their journey to the Luujak.

Theya's husband was a tender soul. More tender than hers. Her soft spots were with him and her children.

"They offered to send a vessel to intercept before we are out of range," she told him, her antennae twitched only sightly. She had remained surprisingly stoic while presenting the news.

Percy nodded. "You have my deepest sympathies, Commander. Whatever Eventide can do to assist you and Shoshua in this time of pain--you only need ask."

"Another subspace communication is arranged for 1330 Hours FST," she told him, an hour and a half from now. "I need to go find my husband."

"Commander," Percy said, delaying her exit, "We have a counselor attached to our medical department..."

Her eyebrows raised slightly, her eyes indicating that she was scrutinizing his words. "It would be problematic if you did not, Captain," she said squarely. A comment on the inefficiency of reminding her of the obvious - not that she was bothered, rather the obvious. It was rather part of the way that Andorians communicate that can sometimes seem peculiar to Humans.

Percy watched her for a long moment before nodding slowly. "I can have Lieutenant Malax have him report to your quarters. I believe they're both working with Hunt and several of the engineers."

"That won't be necessary," Theya replied curtly. "We know how to find him should Shosh wish to talk." Theya held his gaze for a moment.

There was something uncomfortable in the silence that followed. Percy had known her for such a short time. They had shared a meal in the Captain's Mess, a few professional conversations regarding the subspace signal, and now their chance encounter in the corridor.

"If I may make such a bold request, Captain. I know we've only known one another a few days," Theya began. "I intend to let my husband decide what sort of time he may need to take for himself. But our children - they are grown, but still quite young and grew up in a more optimistic time than we did."

Theya took a breath, uncomfortable with the request she was about to make, with showing her vulnerability, with needing something so personal so soon into the voyage. "If we are to decide to stay, and not take the rendezvous, I'd like to be able to check on my children first. My son is at Starfleet Academy, my daughter is at University on Denobula. Do you think it would be possible to arrange communication with them -- Live subspace transmission. I know it is a big ask, and I understand if it is not possible."

Percy looked at her for a moment, genuinely puzzled by the last part.

"Commander, of course it is possible." He said it in a caring, supportive manner. All he could hear was a mother trying to reach her children after a catastrophe. No favour asked.

"I can arrange the transmission," he continued. "You and your husband can speak to your children for as long as you need. If the signal needs to be relayed through another Starfleet facility or relay station, we'll find one. If there's any technical difficulty, we'll put someone on it until you and Shoshua are content with it."

Theya was silent for a moment. She swallowed against the lump in her chest and took a heavy breath.

"Thank you, Captain. May I be dismissed?"

Percy straightened a little, remembering his position. "Dismissed, Commander."

Theya nodded crisply, then pivoted gracefully on the ball of her right foot and started a swift walk for the nearest turbolift.

Percy glanced back to the stars streaking by and heard her leave. Percy's thoughts moved toward what sort of mass casualty event has unfolded on Andoria.

For a few seconds, he remained where he was. There would be reports to read, departments to speak with, and a set of warp engines to stress-test before they reached Zakdorn space. That was the work of command, and it waited for no one.

---

Captain Percival Tapper
Commanding Officer
USS Eventide


Commander Theya Zh'Líran
Senior Mission Specialist
USS Eventide

 

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